http://www.yandy.com/American-Flag-Bikini-Set.php 

 well i'm bored and i'm going to make some lists

Cars that I want when I enlist
1. cadillac CTS
2. nissan 350z
3. chrystler 300
4. Dodge Charger
5. Mit. Eclipse

Models/Actresses I want to look like
1. Rita Hayworth
2. Marisa Miller
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Cindy Crawford
5. any BLONDE playboy bunny

okay,

i have set a new GW of 125 by May 13 and I think know I can do it. I just need a little help. I have no support and if my ex knew I was going to EXTREMES he would be PISSED! I need friends right now more than ever but i'm STUCK IN HAWAII with no one. I HATE LIVING HERE and being lonely. 

My sister's FAT ASS said she was thinner than me, thats farther from the truth. i'm really annoyed. 

err. lol

i just got back from the gym...

wow, was that a work out...

i bought the new cosmopolitian (Kristen Bell on the Cover) and worked out on the eliptical machine... Everytime I wanted to give up I flipped the page and it helped me a little bit more... especially the skinny models that are wearing bathing suits. I lost so many calories... again, double than what i ate. 

but i still need help, and advice to lose weight...

err...

I learned today that the girl that my exboyfriend broke up with me for wants him back again. This has been going on since November of 2007. He is in the United States Navy and he thinks this girl (who I am going to refer to as M) is the best thing in the world. He thinks M is absolutely amazing and pretty and skinny. Well I am not so skinny. I am a chunky little blonde girl who is letting this girl walk all over me and my emotions. I have cried so much. He just recently moved away from me about 2 weeks ago and he is talking to her again. She has a boyfriend but it hurts because it seems like she is doing this on purpose. I also feel like if I had more self confidence this would have never happend. If I was 20lbs thinner this would have never happened. Being Amazingly beautiful has become so important here in the USA that its rediculous! I feel like I need to type about it because I have no one here to talk to... I feel alone and sad. I just want to write down my success to lose the weight... It is now April and I will see him ( i'll call him R) in July in our home state where M will be and I will make sure I look amazing. I have a little over 2 months to exactly make my body beautiful and lose 20lbs. It is actually 1:01 am and I will see if I can actually keep to a new diet and exercise program to help myself. I want to be BEAUTIFUL and SEXY!

-S-